I know that there are people out there that check out people they are going to date on Facebook and Google before they go on a date. But seriously? Why would someone tell a person that they Googled them before going on a date? I wonder if they don’t know how to hold a conversation with someone and just get to know them. Do they have to find out information so they can feel like they have an advantage? This day and time, there is so much information available on the internet about another person. I am no exception. Because of what I do for a living, there is a lot out there about me. But I kind of feel like this guy went too far. He had way too much information about me on a first date. He had watched videos of me on YouTube and then told me that I am more attractive than my pictures and videos. Whoa! Kind of creepy.
Another friend of mine had a similar experience, but the guy had done a credit background check on her. He mentioned that he knew she had good credit and no debt…on a first (and last) date. I wonder what these guys are trying to accomplish by telling us that they have done research on us? It feels very violating.
When I was younger, I dated a police officer until the day he told me that he had run a background check and knew any traffic ticket I had ever received…not many, but he knew all of them. That was our last date.
Even if I had Googled someone or Facebook stalked them, I am smart enough not to tell them that I did that. The point of having the advantage is that the other person doesn’t know you have the advantage. You might use the information of the things they “liked” on Facebook in conversation. If you both like the same music, then it would be a good thing to bring up, but you don’t say, “I noticed on your Facebook page that you like Queen.” Are people really that dumb? Well, this guy wasn’t the brightest bulb in the box.
It was clear that he had been doing a lot of research on me. I wasn’t flattered. I felt as if he was a Peeping Tom using the computer to spy on me. Every time I would start talking about something, he would say something like, “Oh that is right! You graduated from Acalanes High, so you grew up in Lafayette. Is that why you like walking the reservoir?” This kind of comment happened multiple times. It was just creepy! I finally asked him, “Is there anything you don’t think you know about me…like my credit score, age I lost my virginity, first real boyfriend?” He had no idea what I was referring to…because he thought this all made him a good conversationalist.
I went home and blocked him on Facebook! Bye Bye!
Jeannine Kaiser
America’s Dating and Relationship Expert, Author of Cupid’s Playbook
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