Don Juan and I have been conversing via text for about 2 weeks. I have yet to hear his voice. He has not called. We are supposed to go on a date today. I am speculating that Don Juan is riding off into the sunset without me on the back of his steed.
He gets his nickname because he is a self-professed Latin Lover. I may or may not be the judge of this. I am going to strongly guess NOT. If Don Juan had his way, our first date would be a test run to show his skills.
I am a cautious when dating. Without fail, I give my roommate or friend Susan everything I know about the guy I am going to meet which includes his last name, phone number, internet profile name (if applicable). They know when we are meeting and where. This is so if I go missing, they know where to start looking. Sound paranoid? This is just sound advice for anyone dating. Cover you bases!!! Cover your assets!
Don Juan had been asking questions of me via text like; how good of a kisser am I. Slight evasion, but I indicate that I have skills. Next he asked about my most recent romantic date. I give him the Reader’s Digest version of the date that was somewhat romantic. Slim pickings, but I can paint a picture with words. Don Juan, not to be out done, tells me about a romantic evening by the fireplace with wine and intimate conversation. I would guess this kind of date would be after several dates when trust has been built.
Yesterday, Don Juan texted me twice to ask me to come over to him “lovely” home and we can sit by the fire and sip wine. First of all, he loses points because I am not the only woman who gets this special treatment as he made clear! I believe this is Don Juan’s move…get the girl to his house, make her dinner, set the mood, pour her lots of wine…
I was polite when I said to him, “That is a sweet gesture, but I would prefer to meet some where outside of your or my home.” I think that is super clear!! No room for interpretation. Even a slight language barrier should not impede getting the message. I am not coming to YOUR house and YOU are not coming to MINE until we get to know each other better. So then, why does Don Juan ask a second time for me to come over for dinner and a fireside chat with wine? He either doesn’t take no for an answer which would be a real problem if I went to his house for this fireside, romantic evening. Option #2: He invites every woman over for dinner and a fireside chat and he forgot I said NO.
I politely turn him down AGAIN for his “romantic move” and I have yet to hear another peep from Don Juan. Could it be he is busy making dinner, building a fire and pouring wine?
If he asks again, it is NO WAY Jose…or Don Juan as the case may be.
Lesson: If he won’t respect my wishes or boundaries NOW, he will NEVER respect them. Adios!
Jeannine Kaiser, Dating Coach and Author of Cupid’s Playbook
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