This quest to find the right man is so different from when I dated 100 men in a single year-first dates only! I am willing to go on 2nd, 3rd, 4th and finally stop dating for the right guy. Yes, I have kissed (not really, they only got a hug) some frogs. However, there are some really great guys out there. They just aren’t my guy. He is still out there.
One of my rules for dating is that I will date someone more than once unless the give me the hybie-gybies or one of my deal killers shows up on the date. I have definitely experienced both! So, I am giving guys a chance, because first impressions aren’t always terrific on a first date. We are usually nervous. Well not me, giggle.
I have talked about some of my dud dates, however, I have had some really good dates, too. There are three guys that I have dated more than once and they are all very different. The things they all have in common is that they can make me laugh, are confident and pretty smart men. I am smart as a whip, I am definitely confident and I have a wicked sense of humor. They just have to be able to keep up. One took me out in his row-boat on the reservoir…romantic. One took me to the Saddlerack and taught me how to line dance…well he attempted to teach me. I think he will wear steal-toe shoes next time we go. The other took me for a walk around the reservoir and had a picnic lunch packed. I thought that was so sweet.
I have to admit that I like the chase. If it is too easy, then I am not usually interested in him. That isn’t necessarily a good thing. But, if a guy comes on too strong, then I tend to back off. Why is that? I can only speculate my reasoning. I don’t want to move too fast, for one. Secondly, I hate being put on a pedestal by a man. It is a horrible fall when they realize that you aren’t perfect. I never present myself as perfect…but I think we all tend to fantasize about a person we are dating and that makes us all vulnerable to not seeing the whole picture.
I am waiting for that date where I walk away and think, “I didn’t see that coming. He is so awesome.” That hasn’t happened yet. But it could be that as I peel the onion and learn more about these men, I might discover that he is really awesome and I am glad I went on more than one date.
Until then, here is to kissing frogs.
Jeannine Kaiser
America’s Dating and Relationship Expert, Author of Cupid’s Playbook
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